Let’s chat about something many of us have experienced. We support someone else’s ego while they support ours for that oh-so sweet thrill. At first, it’s like a party. Everyone gets to wear their best “I’m amazing” hats and cheer each other on. But let’s get real — it’s fun for a while, but it’s a ride that quickly derails.

Blame Games

You see, you think you’re boosting each other up. In reality, you’re just fluffing each other’s egos. You’re acting like a couple of peacocks strutting around. Eventually, the worst sides of each other start to rear their ugly heads. You’re not building each other up; you’re just setting the stage for epic fights and blame games. Before you know it, you’ve gone from booster to frenemy status and bye-bye relationship.

Now, when that happens, and you separate, something interesting creeps in — guilt. Oh yes, the delightful companion of any breakup. Without the noise of anger and blame, you’re hit with a reality check. While you were busy focusing on what they did wrong, you conveniently forgot to reckon with our own flaws. It’s like taking aspirin for a headache; it feels great in the moment, but it’s just masking the problem.

Resentment Creeps In

If anger and resentment lead you to step out of the relationship — hello, cheating with someone else! It only adds weight to that guilt baggage you’re already hauling around. If your spouse decides to forgive and come back, you can’t escape that gnawing feeling that you haven’t fundamentally changed. Instead, their kindness starts to amplify your guilt. You start feeling unworthy of that nice treatment. It’s a vicious cycle.

Let’s face it — deep down — resentment creeps in. You can even find yourself feeling frustrated with them for being “too nice” when you know you’ve messed up. At this point, it’s crucial to do some soul-searching. Acknowledge that the real problem lies not just with your partner but within you. Until you find genuine forgiveness for your own wrongs, no amount of external support will truly set you free.

So, here’s the takeaway: ego-boosting relationships can be a wild ride. But if mutual support is based solely on ego, it’s a recipe for disaster. Before you get back on that rollercoaster, maybe take a moment to meditate and think deeply. Real love requires more than just ego-boosting; it demands accountability, growth, and true healing. And that’s where the magic starts to happen!

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