By pleasing people, you are seeking the approval of others which can lead to a cycle of resentment and guilt. You are doing things for people that you don’t want to do because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You are not okay just because people like you.

Constantly pleasing people to gain their approval can lead to feeling trapped in a pattern of behavior that doesn’t align with your true desires. This cycle of seeking approval to avoid guilt is unhealthy and unsustainable in the long run. It stems from a fear of disappointing others but ultimately results in self-neglect and inner turmoil.

Deep down inside you, there is resentment for doing things for people, and that resentment turns into guilt. This guilt then drives your need for more approval to avoid feeling guilty again. It becomes a vicious cycle.

If someone close to you asks you to do something that you don’t want to do, be honest and tell them you don’t want to do it. It’s their problem. Don’t let them put their problem on you. If you are too identified with someone your sense of security rests on their approval, which is sick.

The Right Thing

It is essential to break free from the need for constant approval from others. By being honest with yourself and others you can start living a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Do the right thing and do not concern yourself with what others think of you. Focus on your values and what truly matters to you.

When you live on the approval of people, the moment you stop doing things that please people, you feel guilty. However, this guilt only arises because it is wrong to do things to please people. It is wrong to live on their approval and their suggestion that you are good when you are not. You then become addicted to doing things for others to suppress the idea that you are guilty. When they withhold their approval, you feel guilty. However, you are feeling the guilt you should have felt all along and dealt with in the right way.

Misguided Approach

It is crucial to understand that seeking approval from others to alleviate guilt is a misguided approach. Reliance on external validation only perpetuates feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

By prioritizing others’ suggestions that you are okay when your conscience tells you that you are not, you fall into the pattern of seeking approval and feeling guilty for it. You interpret that feeling of guilt as not being nice enough to people. You work harder at pleasing people to relieve the guilt, but that only gives you more guilt.

When you stop pleasing people, the accumulated guilt enslaves you to continue to please them until you have a nervous breakdown, severe illness, or worse.

The Key

The key lies in facing your guilt directly and identifying the root cause. You are guilty of solving guilt in the wrong way, by pleasing people.

When people say you are alright, you think that you are all right, but your conscience says you are wrong. You have to find a way where your conscience will not incriminate you in anything you do.

Ultimately, true liberation from guilt comes from aligning your actions with your moral compass, rather than relying on external affirmations. By breaking free from the cycle of seeking approval from others, you can cultivate a stronger sense of self-awareness and integrity. It is only by acknowledging and addressing your guilt head-on, you can truly break free from its grasp and live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

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