Let’s talk about the idea that having close friends is not all that healthy. Sure, we live in a world that glorifies friendships. Still, it’s high time we reevaluate what “friendship” really means. We need to consider whether it’s doing us any favors. Consider being detached from people instead.

First off, let’s acknowledge a fact: we all love being liked. We crave it, we seek it, and it feels pretty good. But here’s the catch: often, we find ourselves bending over backward to keep that approval. We’re acting as if our self-worth is tied into our popularity or how much we can do for others.

Ever notice that little twinge in your stomach when you want to say “no” to a friend? You know the one. That sense of obligation creeps in and suddenly, you’re agreeing to yet another favor or coffee date. This happens even if you’d much rather be doing something else. It doesn’t have to be that way.

It’s Not You, It’s Your Ego

When your ego starts needing validation from others, you’re on a slippery slope. You can find yourself doing things for people out of obligation rather than genuine wish. And what’s worse? You genuinely believe you are acting as a “good friend.” But, you are really setting the foundation for your own discontent.

You think by doing things for your friends, you’re ensuring their love and approval. But in reality, what you’re doing is creating a dependency—one that usually spirals into resentment and unhappiness. Newsflash: that’s not real friendship.

True friendship should not come with strings attached—there should be no unspoken obligation that ties you to your friends. If you feel like a puppet on a string, step back and reassess the situation. Maybe it’s time to cut those strings.

Why Being Detached Can Be Beneficial

Now, you’re thinking: “But what about companionship?” Sure, companionship is great, but let’s not confuse it with the need for dependency. Maintaining distance—being friendly but detached from people—can create healthier dynamics and help you stay your own person. When you’re detached, you’re still pleasant. You can enjoy casual interactions without the pressure of maintaining a close friendship. You can laugh, connect over shared interests, but at the end of the day, you’re not emotionally attached. This protects your mental space and gives you the freedom to explore your own identity. You can do this without the shadow of someone else’s expectations hanging over you.

Let’s not misconstrue detachment as being a person with antisocial personality disorder, having no empathy. The ego conceptualizes it to mean no compassion or love—it’s the exact opposite! Detachment means being fully present and ceasing to misidentify yourself with anyone or anything. Through detachment love and compassion can flow from you.

The Importance of Solitude

Everyone encounters those moments of loneliness and anxiety. During these vulnerable times, we often reach for our friends. We think that a chat or a visit will make us feel better. But, the best action in those moments isn’t to pull out your phone or knock on a door. It’s to sit with those feelings.

Embrace the solitude, meditate, or simply sit in silence. It’s in those moments that you will discover who you truly are—beyond the labels of “friend,” “sibling,” or “partner.” Facing discomfort can be daunting, but it’s also incredibly liberating! By allowing yourself to simply feel—really feel—you’ll find that the anxiety passes, often leaving you stronger and more centered.

Breaking the Cycle

So, if you’re noticing that your friendships are leaning into unhealthy territory, it’s time to make a change. You need to have that uncomfortable conversation where you tell your friend, “Hey, I can’t do this for you anymore.” I know, it sounds scary, but it’s also incredibly empowering. You will discover that your true friends will appreciate your honesty and respect your boundaries.

When those lonely moments hit, instead of automatically reaching for someone to chat with, take a step back. Feel the loneliness, accept it, and allow it to spiral through you. Embrace the discomfort—the feelings of emptiness won’t last forever. You will find that they lead to a deeper understanding of yourself.

Conclusion

While it seems counter-intuitive to steer clear of close friendships, embracing a more detached approach can be incredibly freeing. It allows you to focus on your own mental health. You can still enjoy the pleasures of social interaction without strings attached. Remember, it’s not about shutting people out; it’s about keeping the right balance.

Learn to say no. Step back and honor your own needs. Doing so will prevent you from slipping into an uncomfortable role. This role is “the good friend,” which is just a masked form of self-sacrifice. So, give yourself permission to be okay with solitude. Let that loneliness wash over you without immediate rectification. Through this process, you’ll start to rediscover who you are. You will be free from the constraints of needing everyone’s approval.

In the end, we can all gain from a little aloofness. It will be the key to creating a happier, healthier you. The next time you feel that urge to connect, consider the power of being alone instead. You’ll thank yourself later!

So take a step back from the emotional whirlpool of friendships and become the best version of yourself. Enjoy friendly connection, yet cherish your own space.

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