Let’s dive into a topic that many married men will not love discussing but is crucial for a healthy relationship. It’s the balance of authority in marriage and how pride can rob you of your power. You know how they say pride comes before a fall? Well, when it comes to relationships, especially marriage, that fall can lead to chaos. It affects not just you but your partner as well.

The Pride Trap

First, let’s handle that sneaky little devil: pride. When you rely on your wife to build up your ego, you’re setting yourself up for a nasty fall. Every person who needs to have his ego supported becomes addicted to it and dependent on it. It’s like person with substance abuse disorder chasing that high. You can feel good in the moment, but deep down, you’re slowly losing control of your authority. Authority is essential for a balanced, healthy relationship.

When your self-worth depends on your wife stroking your ego, you lose sight of your true identity. You lose sight of who you truly are. Your dependency becomes addictive. Overtime, you will find yourself not just craving her affirmation but completely losing your individuality. This isn’t a recipe for a healthy relationship, it’s more like a slow burn towards resentment and emotional sickness. You will have to learn to rise above the need for your wife and then you can truly love her.

The Trap of Sexual Dependency

Now, let’s chat about sexuality. It’s a normal part of life, but when it becomes the main focus in a relationship, things can get messy. When a man loses his authority through sexual dependency, he is degraded. He loses his spiritual loving authority and becomes an animal instead. He becomes subservient to the person who is serving him. The server makes the man feel better than he deserves to feel and he loses his authority. He is degenerating like a person with a drug addiction does. Instead of being a devoted partner, he becomes emotionally subservient, almost like a dependent puppy dog.

Your wife deserves a partner who stands tall, not one who quakes at the thought of losing her affection. Dependency isn’t love. It makes you vulnerable to manipulation, aggression, and ultimately loss of self-respect. You end up in a cycle of frustration, resentment, and violence.

The Cycle of Violence and Submission

Let’s consider what happens when pride and dependency mix like oil and water. Picture this: A man feels trapped in his dependency. He runs away to another woman. Then, he is trapped with this other woman. If he chooses not to be a subservient puppy dog, he will rebel and become violent. Yet, violence only makes the woman look better than him, and she remains the authority. He then becomes a drunk to relieve his anxieties and aggression. It’s no way to live.

A lot of times, aggression is just masking your fear and vulnerability. When you give up your authority, you inadvertently push your wife to take control, becoming more headstrong than necessary. This power shift can lead to her feeling free to act anyway she pleases. Before you know it, you’ve lost the reins of your own relationship.

The Path Ahead

So, what do we do? How do we break this cycle and keep that necessary authority without becoming a tyrant or a subservient partner? It starts by giving up the need for pride and getting real about your sexual impulses.

To rise above these trappings, you’ve got to engage in introspection. Meditate, reflect, and learn to recognize your impulses. Understanding where your feelings are coming from is essential. As a man, your sexual impulse is the evidence of some deep-seated failing. That failing is pride. It is a mystery tracing back to original sin. You have these anxieties that you don’t understand. You are not better off because of your sexual experiences, you are worst off. And that leads many men to drink and other means to escape from it.

Understand what drives your passions. This awareness equips you to make rational decisions instead of acting out in anger or desperation.

Leading with Authority

When you cultivate self-awareness, you develop a strong sense of self that’s not based on ego. Instead, it is built on a solid foundation of who you are. You can take charge of your relationship with authority. You’re not looking for validation from your wife anymore, instead you’re nurturing a partnership where both of you thrive!

Your wife will appreciate and love a man who stands tall, embracing both strength and vulnerability against any marital storm. By leading with authority, but also showing genuine feelings and understanding, you create a balanced dynamic. You both contribute to the relationship, rather than one person feeling dominant while the other feels obligated to serve.

Final Thoughts

The goal is to foster a relationship built on mutual respect, love, and understanding. Recognizing the pitfalls of pride and dependency is the first step toward achieving that balance. Men can find a way to express their strength by shedding the need for constant ego reinforcement. Cultivating self-awareness allows them to avoid descending into aggression or subservience.

In a healthy marriage, both partners should encourage and uplift one another. It’s vital that as a man, you embrace your authority role with confidence and compassion. Then, when physical force is necessary, you can and should use it. Through this journey of introspection, you can empower not only yourself but also your wife. This creates a relationship where both of you feel valued and respected.

So, to all the guys out there. Let go of the idea that you need your wife’s approval to feel good about yourself. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and watch how that transforms your marriage. Love is not about power, it’s about partnership. Choose to lead with love, not ego, and you’ll find a balance that’s both fulfilling and enduring.

Recommended Resources

I recommend checking out books and articles on emotional intelligence, healthy relationships, and personal growth. Search for books on the dynamics of marriage. These should explore topics like assertiveness, emotional health, and the balance of power in relationships. Websites like Psychology Today or relationship-focused blogs can also be gold mines of practical advice and insights.

Learn to balance strength with sensitivity, and you’ll create a flourishing relationship that withstands the tests of time. Happy partnering!

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