Let’s chat about something we all do but probably don’t think about enough: judgment. It’s that little mental tick we all have when we label someone as a “good guy” or a “bad apple.” It’s not as harmless as it sounds.

Stop Labeling People

When you label someone as a “good guy,” you’ll probably feel like you’re on a noble mission. You will be ready to save the day. But hold on a second! What if that judgment is just a sneaky way of stroking your own ego? You feel a swell of responsibility for their “salvation,” getting all wrapped up in self-importance and feelings of guilt, too. There’s a lot going on under the surface, most of which isn’t pretty.

Why should we decide whether people are good or bad? Everyone has their own battles and wounds. Treating them the same way, without those labels, opens up a whole new world of connections. So instead of going all in on your “hero” complex (hello guilt!), how about we just treat everyone on the same level? Be there when people need help, but don’t make extra efforts simply because you think they are worth it. And don’t stop just because you think they are not worth it. This clarity will save you a lot of mental gymnastics.

When you stop labeling people, it frees both of you. The person you’re helping won’t feel all the pressure of your judgments, whether they are good or bad. They can start growing at their own pace and in their own way. Sometimes, just being there is enough. You don’t have to carry the burden of their growth or transformation; they need to find that for themselves.

Grow in Meditation

If you’re busy trying to save someone or condemn them, what experience do they get? Confusion, probably. If you are always saying, ” You’re not good enough,” or even “You’re awesome, but…” it muddies the waters. The quality for comparison isn’t coming from you.

As you grow in meditation, they will respond to this non-judgmental quality in you without you doing anything about it. They can compare themselves with what they see in you. It will give them a sense of remorse or create the experience they need to change. It’s their own life experience that motivates change.

You are not supposed to make judgments about people—good or bad. When you start judging, a wave of guilt and fear comes crashing in. You’ll feel a strong urge to save them. This only leads to guilt when it seems like they are not improving. You can even start blaming yourself, thinking, “Did I make them worse?” You’ll fear you won’t be able to save them. You’ll feel you have to be more noble and try harder. It’s a vicious cycle.

Instead, give yourself permission to step out of that mess and simply exist as a steady presence. When you approach others without judgment, you’re not the “savior.” You’re just a friend, a fellow traveler on this wild ride that we call life.

About Motives

A person can’t meditate properly unless they decide to do so independently. He should not rely on others for motivation. People can pick up on your motives; they can feel it. Remember this: no matter what you say or do, it is the motive, where it’s coming from, that counts.

So, let’s stop labeling people as “good” or “bad.” Instead, treat them like the complex humans we all are. Offer kindness, understanding, and help, but leave the judging at the door. After all, we don’t need to be anyone’s savior. The only responsibility we have is to show them what’s right and fair. But first, we have to be right and fair in ourselves.

Let’s create our very own judgment-free zone!

BP 238