Let’s chat a bit about what perfection really means. It doesn’t mean having the perfect partner. Nope! Perfection, at its core, means being complete and whole within ourselves.

Most of us have inherited an inherent sense of incompleteness. It’s a little ache that nudges us throughout life, whispering that we’re just not enough. But instead of figuring out how to deal with that, we jump to some wild conclusions. For example, we might think our completeness lies in our relationships with others—like our significant others.

An Ego Trip

Let’s break this down a little bit. Somewhere along the way, society has led us to believe that we can only become complete by being with someone else. You’ve heard it said before: “He completes me.” But honestly, that kind of thinking is, well, flawed. In fact, it’s a bit of an ego trip. Moreover, it keeps us distant from a deeper connection with the divine or God — whatever you choose to call it.

Many men misconstrue their feelings of incompleteness as a need to find completion in a woman, and vice versa. When we cling to the notion that a partner is the answer to our wholeness, we end up tangled in a web of sin and codependency. It’s not love. Instead, it’s reliance on someone else to fill a void that only we can truly address.

You might have caught wind of that catchy song lyric, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” However, the people who “need” others can often be the most miserable. For instance, they have taken something that’s actually a sickness—a reaction, if you will—to their incompletness, and romanticized it to seem virtuous. Newsflash: needing someone to feel whole won’t get you to that happy ending.

Detaching Ourselves

We all yearn to have love, support, and friendship, but here’s a crucial difference in how we approach these relationships. We’re here to help each other along this journey called life, but not in the “I need you to complete me” kind of way. Instead, let’s focus on letting go of the belief that our completeness is tied to another person.

Imagine what it would be like to feel whole in our own skin! We can support each other, we can love each other, and we can walk beside one another as we navigate this world—without losing our sense of self in the process. It’s a liberating thought, isn’t it? When we focus on building our own sense of wholeness, we can step into relationships that uplift us. At the same time, we continue honoring our individuality.

So, the next time you catch yourself thinking that someone else is the key to your happiness, pause for a second. Remember that the path to completion is found within, rather than searching for it in someone else. Cheers to being whole!

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